Reviewing my journal, I came across a post from August of 2014. I had spent June and July in Ohio with my oldest son and his family and was now home again in Tucson. I was just coming off a Spring and Summer of additional grief in losing my niece to cervical cancer in April. She had lived with me from the fall of 2013 until her passing.
My life is laying shattered on the marble floor below me. The hour glass of time emptied May 3, 2013 when my beloved entered his heavenly home. I look at the pieces and want desperately to pick each of them up and glue them back together. As I try, slivers of glass get into my fingers and toes causing excruciating pain. What am I to do? There are too many pieces. Where will I get the strength to pick them up and put them in the trash? I scream out in agony! I don't want to throw them away! It is most of my life staring back at me as each piece glistens in the sunlight. I hear them saying, "hold on to me, don't let me go, find a way."
Impossible!! The life I led is no longer the same. I have memories to cherish, but the road ahead is paved differently. I MUST go forward carving out a new life. What will it be? I don't know! I only know that it will be molded and shaped by God.
His Beloved Warrior Bride,
Johanna
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