Fifteen years ago my mother gave me an Amaryllis. It sat in the corner of my Hummingbird garden until a year ago when I moved into a new home.
During the entire 15 years, the plant lived but never grew and never blossomed. When I moved into my new home a friend and her husband helped create a beautiful desert paradise in my back yard. Lantana and new soil were added to my Amaryllis. It received a great amount of sun and plenty of water.
Recently, while I was out in the yard, to my amazement I noticed the plant had grown tall and was blooming. Beautiful flowers were open and stood stately in the planter. I was shocked. I had not previously noticed the growth and ensuing beauty. I had been busy watering and tending to the plants but had not taken time to sit and enjoy their beauty. It was in a quiet moment with the Lord that I looked up and saw the bloom. I was in awe.
The plant had lived where it was, but now it was flourishing in this new place. It had been given new soil, more water and sun. What a difference it made!
This is like my grief journey. I was living and surviving, but I needed a change in order to grow and flourish. I had moved out of the home I shared with my beloved and was creating a new place of my own.
15 years is a long time for a plant to survive without thriving. As I relate it to grief, I am thankful that it did not take me 15 years to decide to move forward with my life. I don’t want to just survive, but to flourish and thrive. As I turned the corner and began to see light in the darkness, things began to change. I had a new perspective on life, love, happiness and joy. I slowly began to realize that I had a lot left to give others and to also give myself. I saw a complete person in Christ instead of being Don’s wife. I might no longer carry that Title around people, but that is now okay with me. I am His Beloved Warrior Bride! I was given a new name and a new purpose in life.
Loss causes a plethora of emotions and I probably had all of them. It wasn’t until I began to want to live again that new emotions surfaced. Joy, Gladness, Contentment and Peace began to fill my heart and mind. I slowly began to see changes, and one day I looked back and realized how far I had come. It was as though a light bulb switched on, and I realized I was happier, more content, full of joy and peace and glad to be going forward with life! My journey is far from over, but now 4 years later, I can truly say that I am living again.
All of us love and grieve differently. None of us will have the exact story, but we are all on this road together linked arm and arm. As you walk your journey, I would pray that the Holy Spirit begin to gently encourage you to allow yourself to begin moving forward. Each moment you breathe, each step you take is another step forward. Allow your mind and spirit to go with you! As you commit to this, one day you, too, will be flourishing.
His Beloved Warrior Bride,