Forever Lost In His Love!
He puts His tender arms around me and begins to wipe away my tears. He whispers love songs in my ear and reminds me of His love for me.
I weep violently and almost vomit from the pain. My heart has been ripped out from me. I don't want to go on. The world seems dark and ugly. I no longer have his hand to hold or his shoulder to cry on. How am I to face this world without him. The grief is so great I feel like my heart will stop beating. All I can think about is the loss and the pain.
People try to give me words of encouragement, prayers and hugs. They mean well, but it doesn't take away the stabbing pain in my chest.
I begin staying busy and stuff my feelings away on the shelf. Being raised to "suck it up and deal with it" made it easier not to face the heartache. I keep myself busy and find myself beginning to feel numb. This helps for awhile, but I know eventually I will need to face reality.
Reality that my life has dramatically changed. I am lost, lonely and in a fog. I don't think my life will get better. I feel destined to this life until death takes me home.
Days, weeks, months and years pass. Slowly I begin to see the light. Slowly I begin to smell the flowers, bask in the sunlight, listen to the songs of the birds in the trees. Spring has sprung and what appeared dead is coming to life. I look at the new buds on the tree and am thankful.
New life has begun to well up in me. I see a hope for the future. I begin to feel again. I allow the tears to flow and I say goodbye. I begin a new journey with joy and anticipation.
I truly have felt like I walked through the valley of the shadow of death and have been reborn. I will cherish the time and memories, but now it is time to start fresh.
I dig deeper into the Word of God. I begin worshipping Him. I slowly realize that He has become the one my soul loves! I still have a bridegroom; one better and greater than the one I had on this earth. I am no longer a widow, but a bride!
His Beloved Warrior Bride,