About Me

My photo
I am a Christ follower who is in love with Jesus.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Forever Lost In His Love!

Forever Lost In His Love!

He puts His tender arms around me and begins to wipe away my tears.  He whispers love songs in my ear and reminds me of His love for me.

I weep violently and almost vomit from the pain.  My heart has been ripped out from me.  I don't want to go on.  The world seems dark and ugly.  I no longer have his hand to hold or his shoulder to cry on.  How am I to face this world without him.  The grief is so great I feel like my heart will stop beating.  All I can think about is the loss and the pain.

People try to give me words of encouragement, prayers and hugs.  They mean well, but it doesn't take away the stabbing pain in my chest.

I begin staying busy and stuff my feelings away on the shelf.  Being raised to "suck it up and deal with it" made it easier not to face the heartache.  I keep myself busy and find myself beginning to feel numb.  This helps for awhile, but I know eventually I will need to face reality.

Reality that my life has dramatically changed.  I am lost, lonely and in a fog.  I don't think my life will get better.  I feel destined to this life until death takes me home.

Days, weeks, months and years pass.  Slowly I begin to see the light.  Slowly I begin to smell the flowers, bask in the sunlight, listen to the songs of the birds in the trees.  Spring has sprung and what appeared dead is coming to life.  I look at the new buds on the tree and am thankful.  

New life has begun to well up in me.  I see a hope for the future.  I begin to feel again.  I allow the tears to flow and I say goodbye.  I begin a new journey with joy and anticipation.

I truly have felt like I walked through the valley of the shadow of death and have been reborn.  I will cherish the time and memories, but now it is time to start fresh.

I dig deeper into the Word of God.  I begin worshipping Him.  I slowly realize that He has become the one my soul loves!  I still have a bridegroom; one better and greater than the one I had on this earth.  I am no longer a widow, but a bride!

His Beloved Warrior Bride,


Friday, March 10, 2017

The Battle

I look down at my combat gear and see the white dress dirty, tattered, torn, drenched in my tears and blood stains from the battle.  My boots are covered in mud and full of holes.  The soles are down to bear threads and my sword is dull from all of the hours and hours of yielding it against my enemies.

I am sitting bent over exhausted from the onslaught of one attack after another, realizing it has been days since I have had time to rest!  Yet, my soul cries out in deep anguish for those still in enemy territory unable to fight on their own.

Lord, renew my strength so I can return to the front lines, I pray!

He gently takes my hand in His and guides me to HIS resting place.  He reminds me that this battle is His and the assignment has gone to someone else today.  It is time for refreshing in order to return to the battle he has commanded me to fight.

I take off my boots and begin to gently clean my swollen, bloody feet.  I dip my hands in the stream beside me and watch blood and dirt trickle away into the stream.  I gently pat the deep gashes on my face with the cool water.  It is all so refreshing!

Thank you Lord for reminding me to rest and retreat from the battles that are not mine and to remember I need renewed and refreshed to keep fighting my assigned battles.

I am forever,

Your Beloved Warrior Bride