Fifteen years
ago my mother gave me an Amaryllis. It
sat in the corner of my Hummingbird garden until a year ago when I moved into a
new home.
During the
entire 15 years, the plant lived but never grew and never blossomed. When I moved into my new home a friend and
her husband helped create a beautiful desert paradise in my back yard. Lantana and new soil were added to my Amaryllis. It received a great amount of sun and plenty
of water.
Recently, while
I was out in the yard, to my amazement I noticed the plant had grown tall and was
blooming. Beautiful flowers were open
and stood stately in the planter. I was
shocked. I had not previously noticed
the growth and ensuing beauty. I had
been busy watering and tending to the plants but had not taken time to sit and
enjoy their beauty. It was in a quiet
moment with the Lord that I looked up and saw the bloom. I was in awe.
The plant
had lived where it was, but now it was flourishing in this new place. It had been given new soil, more water and
sun. What a difference it made!
This is like
my grief journey. I was living and
surviving, but I needed a change in order to grow and flourish. I had moved out of the home I shared with my
beloved and was creating a new place of my own.
15 years is
a long time for a plant to survive without thriving. As I relate it to grief, I am thankful that
it did not take me 15 years to decide to move forward with my life. I don’t want to just survive, but to flourish
and thrive. As I turned the corner and
began to see light in the darkness, things began to change. I had a new perspective on life, love,
happiness and joy. I slowly began to
realize that I had a lot left to give others and to also give myself. I saw a complete person in Christ instead of
being Don’s wife. I might no longer
carry that Title around people, but that is now okay with me. I am His Beloved Warrior Bride! I was given a new name and a new purpose in
life.
Loss causes
a plethora of emotions and I probably had all of them. It wasn’t until I began to want to live again
that new emotions surfaced. Joy,
Gladness, Contentment and Peace began to fill my heart and mind. I slowly began to see changes, and one day I
looked back and realized how far I had come.
It was as though a light bulb switched on, and I realized I was happier,
more content, full of joy and peace and glad to be going forward with life! My journey is far from over, but now 4 years later,
I can truly say that I am living again.
All of us
love and grieve differently. None of us
will have the exact story, but we are all on this road together linked arm and
arm. As you walk your journey, I would
pray that the Holy Spirit begin to gently encourage you to allow yourself to
begin moving forward. Each moment you
breathe, each step you take is another step forward. Allow your mind and spirit to go with you! As you commit to this, one day you, too, will
be flourishing.
His Beloved
Warrior Bride,
Johanna
